Archive for category Funny Stuff

Funny Stuff: Abu Hajaar–The Carl Of The Middle East

I had to put this one out there because here on FJ, I have a history of sharing memes and other material that mocks the enemies of the world…. Emo Osama was a classic…. So let me introduce to you Abu Hajaar, the Carl of Daesh. Or according to one of my readers, the name translates into ‘father of rock/mountain’…. You can’t make this stuff up. lol

This video posted by Vice is an attack that Daesh or ISIS did on a Peshmerga position back in December of 2015. Daesh did not do well that day, and Peshmerga destroyed them. For an excellent analysis of that attack and it’s failings, read this post from the Oryx Blog.

What I wanted to highlight though is how idiotic these attackers were. And get this, on Facebook and Twitter, this video has gone viral. The star of the show is none other than Abu Hajaar, or the proverbial Carl of this motley crew of Daesh. Carl is a popular Meme going around the internet either derived from the show The Walking Dead or from the movie Sling Blade. Either way, Carl has come to signify ‘that guy’ that just never get’s it right…

On Twitter, the hashtag #AbuHajaar is actually gaining traction. Unfortunately though, the hilarity of combat videos like this are really not appreciated by civilians because they do not know what is going on tactically. It’s just guys in the middle of an intense fire fight, that meet their doom on the battlefield.

Now if you go to youtube, folks are actually modifying the original video. I was laughing after watching this version, complete with a live studio audience.

For veterans who know better and have actually been shot at, this is wildly hilarious for all of the dumb stuff these morons were doing. The fools certainly paid the price for their idiocy. –Matt


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Funny Stuff: The Pentagon Wars

A big hat tip to David over on Feral Jundi’s Facebook page for reminding me of this movie. This is an all time classic and a reminder as to how the Pentagon procurement process can go horribly wrong. It also helps to explain how idiotic weapons like the F-35 get made (read David Axe’s post on the subject for an excellent primer), and how highly effective weapons like the A-10 get mothballed.

By the way, this is a clip from the movie that showed how the Bradley Fighting Vehicle came about. Pretty hilarious. You can watch the whole thing on youtube if you want to watch it sometime later. –Matt


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Funny Stuff: Duffel Blog–Marine Veterans Launch Kickstarter Project To Retake Fallujah!

This is a hilarious satirical post on crowdfunding warfare that the Duffel Blog put together. With Al Qaeda actually retaking Fallujah recently, there has been much discussion on places like Facebook by veterans about all of this.

What is really interesting is that if you read through the response in the comments section of this post, which is mostly folks who are using their Facebook accounts to comment, there is actually a response of folks who would contribute to such a campaign. Or even go back over to retake the city with the Iraqis.

With that said, I wouldn’t be surprised to see someone actually start a campaign on a crowdfunding site that would actually allow it.  What site that would be is the question? So will someone actually start a campaign to fight the third battle of Fallujah? “Operation ______ ______”? –Matt


Marine Veterans Launch Kickstarter Project To Retake Fallujah
By G-Had
January 7, 2014
A pair of former Marines have launched a Kickstarter project to raise enough money for them to travel back to Iraq and retake the city of Fallujah in time for the ten-year anniversary of the battle.
“Hi, I’m Austin Jenkins and this is Joe Wood. We’re Marines, and this is our Kickstarter fund to send us back to Iraq to go fuck some shit up,” begins the now-famous video pitch featuring the two Iraq War veterans. They are seeking $1300 to fly them one-way from the U.S. to Jordan, where they intend to cross the Iraqi border in order to “make it rain.”
When asked how they plan to fight Al Qaeda militants, Jenkins said, “Yeah, where are we gonna find any weapons in Iraq?” Then they both started laughing.
Jenkins, a former Sergeant in 3rd Battalion 1st Marines, took part in the Second Battle of Fallujah in November 2004. Wood, also a former Sergeant but with 1st Battalion 5th Marines took part in the earlier battle in April of that year. After each completed several combat deployments to Iraq, both were eventually forced out of the Marine Corps due to incomplete swim qualifications.

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Funny Stuff: A Petition To Build A Death Star By 2016

Now this is funny. But the real kicker is that this petition has the required signatures for the Whitehouse to actually acknowledge the concept (29,341 at this time). So expect some statement in the future from the US government about this proposed Death Star construction. lol I say we better do this quick, or China will steal the idea and get a Death Sun of their own. –Matt


Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.

Those who sign here petition the United States government to secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016.

By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.

Sign the petition here.

Step By Step Guide For The ‘We The People’

1. You Create a Petition

Before you start a petition, take some time to think about your goal. What you want President Obama or the White House to do? Why others should support your cause? This will help you clearly articulate your position and make your petition more effective. You should also check to be sure there isn’t already a petition with the same goal on the site.

Here’s how to create a new petition:

Enter Basic Information Start by entering a short (120 characters or less) headline for the petition by completing the sentence “We believe the Obama Administration should….” Your headline should be clear and compelling and describe the goal of your petition. Next you’ll select up to three issue categories. If you want to add additional information about the topic of your petition, you can do that later by adding tags.

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Funny Stuff: Party Seems Over For Somali Pirates–Prostitutes Lament

There they found pirates who once owned vast villas living in darkened, unfurnished rooms, hiding from their creditors.
Prostitute Faduma Ali longs for the days when her pirate customers had money. As she smoked a hookah in a hot, airless room in Galkayo last week, she sneered as she answered a phone call from a former customer seeking some action on credit.
“Those days are over. Can you pay me $1,000?” she asked. That’s what she once got for a night’s work. “If not, goodbye and leave me alone.”
“Money,” she groaned as she hung up.

Too funny. If you want to know the health of an illicit industry like piracy, then turn to the prostitutes as a way of gauging that. lol

I also love that Faduma Ali pictured below is a prostitute, but still wears what looks like the niqab or veil. I really don’t know how she is viewed upon by Islamic scholars or other muslims there in the city she lives in, and I am surprised the extremists haven’t killed her or made an example of her yet?

But back to the big point here. This is just more proof that the current strategy of getting armed guards on boats–and I mean all vessels going through GOA–is the right path. Congratulations to all involved with the effort, to include the navies of the world and the private armed guards on boats.

On that note, just because the Somali pirate industry is suffering, does not mean that they are out of the picture or that other pirates from around the world won’t do their thing. For example, Nigerian pirates seem to be really upping their game and increasing their use of violence. The truly desperate and dangerous pirates are out there, and they are committing atrocity in order to achieve their goals. It is these wolves, that continue to hunt and seek weakness, that we need to be on guard for.

I would hate to see armed guards on boats get over taken by better armed and highly determined pirates….. But the realist in me just assumes that it will happen, and all we can to is to continue to press for the entire industry stay one step ahead. Both in planning/intelligence and in optimum weapons for that voyage. –Matt


$1000 a night no more: Prostitute Faduma Ali, who longs for the days when her pirate customers had money, chews the stimulant khat and smokes a cigarette at a house in the once-bustling pirate town of Galkayo, Somalia. (AP Photo/Farah Abdi Warsameh) Source: AP

AP IMPACT: Party seems over for Somali pirates
The empty whiskey bottles and overturned, sand-filled skiffs littering this once-bustling shoreline are signs the heyday of Somali piracy may be over. Most of the prostitutes are gone and the luxury cars repossessed. Pirates while away their hours playing cards or catching lobsters.
“There’s nothing to do here these days,” said Hassan Abdi, a high school graduate who taught English in a private school before turning to piracy in 2009. “The hopes for a revitalized market are not high.”
Armed guards aboard cargo ships and an international naval armada that carries out onshore raids have put a huge dent in piracy and might even be ending the scourge.
While experts say it’s too early to declare victory, the numbers are startling: In 2010, pirates seized 47 vessels. This year they’ve taken five.
For a look at the reality behind those numbers, an Associated Press team from the capital, Mogadishu, traveled to the pirate havens of Galkayo and Hobyo, a coastal town considered too dangerous for Western reporters since the kidnappers have turned to land-based abductions over the last year.
There they found pirates who once owned vast villas living in darkened, unfurnished rooms, hiding from their creditors.
Prostitute Faduma Ali longs for the days when her pirate customers had money. As she smoked a hookah in a hot, airless room in Galkayo last week, she sneered as she answered a phone call from a former customer seeking some action on credit.

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Funny Stuff: The Every Day Carry For Cartel Bosses

This guy was just captured by authorities and he is a big fish. El Gordo is one of the two top leaders of the Gulf Cartel! But what I was intrigued with, and got a chuckle from, was his ‘every day carry’ below. lol

Two hand grenades, one AR-15/M-4, three magazines, six phones, a wad of cash, a gold chain, and wait for it……a tablet (iPad maybe?). Now that is a multi-tasker! –Matt


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