Posts Tagged Funny Stuff

Funny Stuff: A Petition To Build A Death Star By 2016

Now this is funny. But the real kicker is that this petition has the required signatures for the Whitehouse to actually acknowledge the concept (29,341 at this time). So expect some statement in the future from the US government about this proposed Death Star construction. lol I say we better do this quick, or China will steal the idea and get a Death Sun of their own. -Matt

 

Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.

Those who sign here petition the United States government to secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016.

By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.

Sign the petition here.

———————————————————–
Step By Step Guide For The ‘We The People’

1. You Create a Petition

Before you start a petition, take some time to think about your goal. What you want President Obama or the White House to do? Why others should support your cause? This will help you clearly articulate your position and make your petition more effective. You should also check to be sure there isn’t already a petition with the same goal on the site.

Here’s how to create a new petition:

Enter Basic Information Start by entering a short (120 characters or less) headline for the petition by completing the sentence “We believe the Obama Administration should….” Your headline should be clear and compelling and describe the goal of your petition. Next you’ll select up to three issue categories. If you want to add additional information about the topic of your petition, you can do that later by adding tags.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: , , , , ,

Funny Stuff: Party Seems Over For Somali Pirates–Prostitutes Lament

There they found pirates who once owned vast villas living in darkened, unfurnished rooms, hiding from their creditors.
Prostitute Faduma Ali longs for the days when her pirate customers had money. As she smoked a hookah in a hot, airless room in Galkayo last week, she sneered as she answered a phone call from a former customer seeking some action on credit.
“Those days are over. Can you pay me $1,000?” she asked. That’s what she once got for a night’s work. “If not, goodbye and leave me alone.”
“Money,” she groaned as she hung up.

Too funny. If you want to know the health of an illicit industry like piracy, then turn to the prostitutes as a way of gauging that. lol

I also love that Faduma Ali pictured below is a prostitute, but still wears what looks like the niqab or veil. I really don’t know how she is viewed upon by Islamic scholars or other muslims there in the city she lives in, and I am surprised the extremists haven’t killed her or made an example of her yet?

But back to the big point here. This is just more proof that the current strategy of getting armed guards on boats–and I mean all vessels going through GOA–is the right path. Congratulations to all involved with the effort, to include the navies of the world and the private armed guards on boats.

On that note, just because the Somali pirate industry is suffering, does not mean that they are out of the picture or that other pirates from around the world won’t do their thing. For example, Nigerian pirates seem to be really upping their game and increasing their use of violence. The truly desperate and dangerous pirates are out there, and they are committing atrocity in order to achieve their goals. It is these wolves, that continue to hunt and seek weakness, that we need to be on guard for.

I would hate to see armed guards on boats get over taken by better armed and highly determined pirates….. But the realist in me just assumes that it will happen, and all we can to is to continue to press for the entire industry stay one step ahead. Both in planning/intelligence and in optimum weapons for that voyage. -Matt

 

$1000 a night no more: Prostitute Faduma Ali, who longs for the days when her pirate customers had money, chews the stimulant khat and smokes a cigarette at a house in the once-bustling pirate town of Galkayo, Somalia. (AP Photo/Farah Abdi Warsameh) Source: AP

AP IMPACT: Party seems over for Somali pirates
By ABDI GULED
09/25/2012
The empty whiskey bottles and overturned, sand-filled skiffs littering this once-bustling shoreline are signs the heyday of Somali piracy may be over. Most of the prostitutes are gone and the luxury cars repossessed. Pirates while away their hours playing cards or catching lobsters.
“There’s nothing to do here these days,” said Hassan Abdi, a high school graduate who taught English in a private school before turning to piracy in 2009. “The hopes for a revitalized market are not high.”
Armed guards aboard cargo ships and an international naval armada that carries out onshore raids have put a huge dent in piracy and might even be ending the scourge.
While experts say it’s too early to declare victory, the numbers are startling: In 2010, pirates seized 47 vessels. This year they’ve taken five.
For a look at the reality behind those numbers, an Associated Press team from the capital, Mogadishu, traveled to the pirate havens of Galkayo and Hobyo, a coastal town considered too dangerous for Western reporters since the kidnappers have turned to land-based abductions over the last year.
There they found pirates who once owned vast villas living in darkened, unfurnished rooms, hiding from their creditors.
Prostitute Faduma Ali longs for the days when her pirate customers had money. As she smoked a hookah in a hot, airless room in Galkayo last week, she sneered as she answered a phone call from a former customer seeking some action on credit.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: , , ,

Funny Stuff: The Every Day Carry For Cartel Bosses

This guy was just captured by authorities and he is a big fish. El Gordo is one of the two top leaders of the Gulf Cartel! But what I was intrigued with, and got a chuckle from, was his ‘every day carry’ below. lol

Two hand grenades, one AR-15/M-4, three magazines, six phones, a wad of cash, a gold chain, and wait for it……a tablet (iPad maybe?). Now that is a multi-tasker! -Matt

 

Tags: , , ,

Funny Stuff: Taliban Using The Old ‘Bearded Woman’ Infiltration Tactic

This one is funny, just because these guys were caught and then paraded around wearing this stuff. It ranks right up there with the Taliban commander wanting to collect the bounty on his head. lol  -Matt

 

Meet the Taliban transvestites: Rebels are captured dressed in drag

Tags: , , , , ,

Al Qaeda: Abbottabad Document Dump–Usama Bin Laden’s Private Letters!

This is quite the document dump. I mean we are getting an excellent view at what was going on with Al Qaeda and it’s leader Usama Bin Laden with this one.

As for the things that have stood out to me, was the disconnect between Bin Laden/AQ central and all of the affiliates. He was really pissed off about how little regard they had for Muslim lives. That to UBL, killing Muslims only hurt the AQ brand, and that because the affiliates were not careful in this regard, that it was extremely damaging. Here is a run down from this West Point publication about Bin Laden’s views on the affiliates.

The Affiliates
Rather than a source of strength, Bin Ladin was burdened by what he viewed as the incompetence of the “affiliates,” including their lack of political acumen to win public support, their media campaigns and their poorly planned operations which resulted in the unnecessary deaths of thousands of Muslims.

-Islamic State of Iraq/Al-Qa`ida in Iraq (ISI/AQI): The documents conclusively demonstrate that the failures of ISI/AQI weighed heavily on Bin Ladin, as he urged other groups not to repeat their mistakes. Adam Gadahn advised that al- Qa`ida should publicly dissociate itself from ISI/AQI.

-Al-Qa`ida in the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP): While routinely described as “the most dangerous” al-Qa`ida affiliate, as of 2010-2011 Bin Ladin seemed to have spent more time worrying about this group than appreciating its contributions. In a strongly worded letter, the leader of AQAP, Nasir al-Wuhayshi, was directly warned against pursuing any expansionist plan, such as declaring an Islamic state in Yemen, and was urged to refocus his efforts on attacking the United States, not the Yemeni government or security forces.

-Tehrik-e-Taliban Pakistan (TTP): The TTP seems to have come incredibly close to provoking a direct and public confrontation with al-Qa`ida’s leadership. Its indiscriminate attacks against Muslims caused `Atiyyatullah and Abu Yahya al- Libi to write to TTP leader Hakimullah Mahsud to express their displeasure with the group’s “ideology, methods and behavior.” They also threatened to take public measures “unless we see from you serious and immediate practical and clear steps towards reforming [your ways] and dissociating yourself from these vile mistakes [that violate Islamic Law].”

-Al-Shabab: Bin Ladin appeared to have seen little practical value in formally recognizing the group’s pledge of loyalty (bay`a). His motivations for withholding this recognition were largely pragmatic and reflected his concern over their poor governance and inflexible administration of hudud (deterrent penalties for certain crimes). He also wanted them to focus on “construction and development” and feared that a formal merger with al-Qa`ida would prevent investment and foreign aid in Somalia.?

-Al-Qa`ida in the Islamic Maghreb (AQIM), the Taliban and Jaysh al-Islam: While there is mention of these groups in the documents released to the CTC, these discussions are not substantive enough to inform an understanding of the relationship between al-Qa`ida’s senior leaders and these groups.

But probably the most significant information for me was how Bin Laden viewed the Arab Spring and the war in Afghanistan. It only confirms what has been suspected with AQ, and that they love the Arab Spring and view it as a major opportunity. Although Bin Laden did not like Muslims participating in these political processes because it was a recognition of a secular political process. Meaning he wanted a political process that was non-secular, or a political process that was backed by Islamic traditions and law. To put the ‘Islamic State’ into Egyptian politics–and anything else was ‘half solutions’. Interesting.

Although I still think that what the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt has done is significant, and they are certainly changing Egypt and turning back the clock when it comes to relations with Israel and the political process. They will more than likely use the system that they bought into, to change everything slowly but surely. It could backfire, and the people could get real tired of such things if it turns out to be oppressive and jobs are still scarce. They will ‘throw those bums out’ too, or at least you would think. But who knows?….

His ideas on Afghanistan are pretty common sense as well. Focus on the west, minimize Muslim deaths, keep promoting the message of what they want to communicate. And use the Jihad in Afghanistan as a means to fuel revolutions every where else. Although if you see up top about Bin Laden’s views of the Taliban, he was not happy with their performance.  Probably because the Taliban could care less about the AQ brand or jihad, and care more about personal interest and power. That explains why the Taliban continue to kill innocent Muslims in these attacks, with no concern.

Bin Ladin’s Plans ?

One of the 17 documents is a letter dated April 2011 authored by Bin Ladin in response to the “Arab Spring,” which he considered to be a “formidable event” (hadath ha’il) in the modern history of Muslims. This letter reflected his intended strategy of responding to the new political landscape that was emerging in the Middle East and North Africa.

-In the Arab world, Bin Ladin wanted al-Qa`ida to focus its efforts on media outreach and “guidance.” He believed that a media campaign should be launched to incite “people who have not yet revolted and exhort them to rebel against the rulers” (khuruj ‘ala al-hukkam). But he also wanted to invest in guidance, “educating and warning Muslim people from those [who might tempt them to settle for] half solutions,” such as engaging in the secular political process by forming political parties.

-In Afghanistan, Bin Ladin wanted jihadis to continue their fight against the United States. He believed that their efforts weakened the United States, enabling Muslims elsewhere to revolt against their rulers, no longer fearing that the United States would be in a powerful position to support these rulers.

The one analysis that I have seen so far that is interesting to check out is called ‘How To Destroy Al-Qaida, By Usama Bin Laden‘. lol This is Jarret Brachman organizing everything that was said by Bin Laden in these letters, and formulating a plan that would basically hurt or even destroy AQ.

Pretty interesting stuff and check out this link if you want to read all of the various letters. It should be safe for you to read just because they have all been posted by West Point for public consumption on their website. I also recommend heading on over to blogs like Jarret Brachman’s, a maven that focuses on Al Qaeda.

I guess from a strategic point of view, because Al Qaeda does not have unity of effort, they are not able to organize correctly or stick to a single strategy and focus.  That if one group sucks or commits a moral crime–like killing innocent Muslims during attacks, that it hurts the overall image and brand of AQ. That whole isolate your enemy morally, mentally, and physically, while increasing your moral, mental, and physical standing comes to mind, when we talk about an organization’s grand strategy.  And morally, Al Qaeda is having a big problem when they hurt or kill innocent Muslims–which then makes them ‘isolated’ or shunned by Muslims.

So just as long as each affiliate is fragmented and doing their own self serving thing, and the west continues to promote the immoral behavior of each group, then AQ’s brand will further be tarnished. Let’s listen to what Bin Laden was concerned about, and use it to our advantage.

Also, we should be very wary of how the Arab Spring evolves and know that AQ is licking their chops with these revolutions. We should make sure that the people who are fighting for their freedoms know that AQ does not represent freedom. They are one in the same with the very leaders that the people are trying to expel. They do not represent freedom of religion, they do not represent freedom of expression, they do not support your right to free speech, and they will oppress you if they had the chance. Al Qaeda is not progressive or focused on elevating the prosperity of these people. Not only that, but these folks should look hard at what Al Qaeda’s version of Sharia Law really means.

With the Arab Spring, there is certainly a battle for the souls of people whom have had enough of dictators, and are fighting hard for their freedom. I would hate for them to lose all of that and give in to the leadership of oppressive Islamists. -Matt

 

Emo Usama

 

Letters from Abbottabad: Bin Ladin Sidelined?
May 03, 2012
Authors: Don Rassler, Gabriel Koehler-Derrick, Liam Collins, Muhammad al-Obaidi, Nelly Lahoud
This report is a study of 17 de-classified documents captured during the Abbottabad raid and released to the Combating Terrorism Center (CTC). They consist of electronic letters or draft letters, totaling 175 pages in the original Arabic and 197 pages in the English translation. The earliest is dated September 2006 and the latest April 2011.  These internal al-Qa`ida communications were authored by several  leaders, most prominently Usama bin Ladin.  In contrast to his public statements that focused on the injustice of those he believed to be the “enemies” of Muslims, namely corrupt “apostate” Muslim rulers and their Western “overseers,” the focus of Bin Ladin’s private letters is Muslims’ suffering at the hands of his jihadi “brothers”. He is at pain advising them to abort domestic attacks that cause Muslim civilian casualties and focus on the United States, “our desired goal.” Bin Ladin’s frustration with regional jihadi groups and his seeming inability to exercise control over their actions and public statements is the most compelling story to be told on the basis of the 17 de-classified documents. “Letters from Abbottabad” is an initial exploration and contextualization of 17 documents that will be the grist for future academic debate and discussion.

Read the report and letters here.

Tags: , , , , , ,

Funny Stuff: Charlene–The Quadrotor With A Machine Gun!

This is pretty funny. At first glance, it almost looks real. But of course the weight of the gun and how it is controlled is all obviously fake. You can definitely pick up on the CGI in it. lol But it is fun to watch. -Matt

 

Tags: , , ,